Home Miscarriage, you don’t need to walk it alone

Miscarriage, you don’t need to walk it alone

A high number of us, either personally or through a family member or friend have experienced miscarriage. In medical terms, miscarriage is the spontaneous loss of pregnancy before 20 weeks of gestation.

Did you know 1:5 women who know they are pregnant will experience a miscarriage before 20 weeks, most often in the first 12 weeks?

I read an article recently by Bianca Dye, a radio personality, who discussed her miscarriage experiences and how the power of being open and honest about pregnancy loss has had a ripple effect on other women. Bianca explains her recent loss left her ‘feeling so connected to other women’ and that in sharing her IVF journey she has allowed space for other women to grieve. This vulnerability and encouragement for other’s to do the same is so incredibly necessary.

Emotionally parents can feel like they are on a rollercoaster. From conception, parents begin preparing physically, mentally and emotionally and when this process ends unexpectedly, they can be left feeling alone and isolated. Parents will experience a spectrum of emotions, commonly grief, sadness, loneliness, depression and a feeling of emptiness. Some of them will feel a sense of relief and there is no need to feel guilty if this is their experience.

There is a strange sense of secrecy and shame around miscarriages. Women often disclose their experiences to few people, if any, and feel a sense of inadequacy, that their body has failed them. It is important to remember there is usually nothing that could be done to prevent a miscarriage and often the cause is unknown. However, this rarely provides comfort.

In my experience as a midwife what have I seen to make a difference? Providing a safe space for women to talk, share stories. In allowing women this space to share we support them, nurture them and allow them to grieve and move through.

Supports available:

• Your partner, family and friends. Don’t underestimate the power of sharing your loss with your loved ones.
• Your obstetrician, midwife, GP or mental health practitioner
• Pink Elephants Support Network : www.pinkelephantssupport.com
• SANDS :  1300 072 637
• The Perinatal Loss Centre : www.theperinatallosscentre.com.au

Tamsyn x